Monday, August 4, 2008

Back from Vacation....

Well, we made it back safe, sound and relaxed. A whole week of sleeping in late, playing in the lake water, taking naps when we felt like it, reading and journaling. I deffinatetly feel decompressed.
I finished up a few journal pages that I have been working on (yeah....sad to say for a month now!), but I got them done!

In a post last month, Pancake Saturday, Anitra made a commented that prompted me to make a journal page of my story, focusing on my "Medusa hair" in the morning and here is that page.

Next... I finished a page that I titled "1967 Riots". The page is about the 1967 Detroit riots and how it coincided with my parents emigration from Scotland. The idea of riots breaking out in both South Bend IN where they were headed to, and in Detroit, where they eventually settled in the suburbs, really scared my Mom. She kept asking my Dad, "What are you bringing me to!?"

Next... I did a page about all the different things... "I am"
It's sort of a simple and silly one, but nonetheless, it's what I was thinking.

Next... a sketch I did of the lake we visited all week. I sketched it first, then finished it with water color paints, and some acrylic washes. It's my first "real" sketch...and in my opinion, doesn't look very good. I'm sure in time, after lots of practice, when I look at again years from now, I will look upon it fondly.

Now....all that being said... I feel pretty crappy today. I've always avoided the subject of any sort of depression as my family all have access to my blog. But....those close enough to me know, and those who don't are still my family... and who else can you depend on, right? So... here it goes...

Between on ongoing issue at home, a weight that goes up and down like a swing, the big 40 creeping up, and a general unsettled feeling about the future (as far as where we will live/work after my husband's upcoming retirement...) I just feel CRAPPY! I thoroughly enjoyed my vacation but I think the aftermath of everything slowing down, gave me way too much idle time to think. Unfortunately, when I ponder thought, I tend to think on the negative things, instead of the positive.

Why do I do that? That's such.... CRAP. I am blessed is so many ways.

Even when I look at my journaling and scrapbooking projects, I feel like I'm a "want to be"... I have no education in art. I have no real "talent"..... I'm just striving to do the things that interest me, and get me mind out of the gutter, but I can't even draw! I'm self taught and not excelling very well!

No...I'm not ready to go.... nutty... or drink myself silly or any of the other extremes people tend to think of when they hear depression.....and no.... I don't want any...."pick me ups"... It's just one of those days of seeing the reality of things....and knowing they suck.

Wow!! That post when down hill! Anyway....tomorrow is a new day. God will, with no doubt in my mind, bestow more blessings upon me. I hope I wake up with eyes wide open and enjoy them! In the mean time....I hope you enjoy my pages.

1 comment:

Kim Mailhot said...

Hi Sandy !
Thanks for your visit ! Glad you found me through the Soul Journal link. I am so enjoying those prompts by Sarah. I have been art journaling for about 2 years now and it has become such a integral part of my world ! I actually get kind of antsy when a few days go by and I haven't taken that time just for me ! I started off really critical about my "art" and my talent and have now settled into just enjoying whatever comes.. the good, the bad, and the beautiful (ok some really ugly too !) !
If you check out some of my posts, you will see that I can relate to your "feeling blue" (as I like to call it ! Hate the words depression/anxiety and all the labels that go with it !!!) quite a bit these days ! I also get the not wanting someone else to "fix" it for me, but just listen and feel for the fact I am having a crappy day ! So I feel for you, girl ! And as you said, I hope that tomorrow brings a different perspective but if not.. may God grant you the time to get covered in paint and gesso and glue and play, play, play, your blues away ! How's that for a fix !
Looking forward to our next connection ! Cheers,